In today’s world, getting a mental health break may often be very challenging for many Americans. Consequently, notes received from physicians that support a person’s claim of having suffered from a medical condition, are considered the Holy Grail among documents able to excuse an absence. Today, we shall take a look at ways of getting your hands on free less-than-authentic sick notes, and more importantly how to employ them without getting caught. We will also try to provide several examples of mistakes made by many people that may often needlessly put their jobs at risk.
A Sick Note: The Basics
A blank note from a doctor to excuse an absence is a bit more difficult than forging a note from your mom when skipping school, but it certainly is not impossible. Never forge a real persons signature as this is likely illegal and can get you into trouble.
Typically, the process will involve the following steps:
- Finding a blank template of a doctor’s note that is editable and printable
Currently, there are many websites providing paid and free excuse templates of real doctor’s notes. The selection is quite large, but you should always make sure the version you obtain is editable and – when printed – it does come with a watermark, or a web address. Only use free doctor’s notes if you’re using it as a joke. Otherwise they are too risky.
- Editing the template to match your information
This should be self-explanatory, after all the note is meant to excuse your and not John Doe’s absence.
- Coming up with a medical reason or excuse for the absence
This can be template-specific. For example, hospital or emergency room discharge papers will normally describe the treated medical condition. On the other hand, family physicians may simply state that such visit and treatment indeed occurred but without providing any additional medical information. If you do decide to include a reason for hospital discharge, consider making it slightly embarrassing as that will prevent someone from trying to double-check it.
- Entering a doctor’s or hospital’s info and contact number
This is by far the most important part of any sick note. You should provide the name of a fictitious doctor, and preferably one that would work within a reasonable distance. Even though the likelihood of anyone actually employing verification of the information on the internet is small, it may still happen especially in the case of a longer absence. Furthermore, including the name of the physician along with a real phone number will only help substantiate your claim, as the note’s details will match the real information. Finally, any information regarding the physician should be consistent with the used template.
Submitting Your Fake Sick Note
This step is as important as preparing the note itself, and as Sun Tzu used to say, you should always “respect your enemy”. You never know who might end up reviewing your note in the human resources department at your company. Before you submit your note, you should ensure it has your name and address on it, the date of your visit with the physician, the length of your absence from work that should be excused, and finally the doctor’s name, address and signature. As said previously, the diagnosis and treatment details are not essential, as they fall under doctor-patient confidentiality laws.
Getting Away With Using Fake Sick Notes
Now, let us take a look at few rules you must follow to get away with your fake sick note. (If you need a great sick / dr. note, go to our homepage)
- Rule 1: You Do Not Talk About Fake Doctor’s Notes
It should not be a surprise that the first rule of getting away with a fake doctor’s note is to keep it a secret from everyone. Working to keep it confidential is in your best interest. It is best to think of the note as if it was an authentic doctor’s note describing a really embarrassing medical condition. In addition, the less you talk about it, the fewer white lies you will have to remember. After all, what you do not want to happen is accidentally telling one of your colleagues you went to the dentist, while later telling others you had to go to the emergency room.
- Rule 2: The Recipient’s Point-of-View
Submitting a fake doctor’s note is a lot like doing a magic trick: you either do it right and no one notices the sleight of hand or you make a mistake that destroys the whole illusion. When you produce a fake sick note, look at it as if you were the one receiving it. If the note does not seem believable to you for any reason, you should consider using another template. The job is to remember if your deception is discovered, it will fall apart.
- Rule 3: Memorize the Details
Once you decide to submit a fake doctor’s note at work, remember that it is now a part of your record. In other words, if you use appendicitis as your original fake excuse, you will have to remember that if you ever need to have your appendix actually removed, you will need to come up with another fake excuse to explain your absence. Similarly, using the flu after receiving sponsored flu vaccinations will lead to more scrutiny.
- Rule 4: Confidence is Key
When submitting your fake sick note, you should remain as confident as you would be if the note was an authentic one. If you happen to find yourself questioned by others, you should not be afraid to mention medical confidentiality laws and end the conversation. After you demonstrate resistance and a desire for privacy, the majority of people will not press the subject further, realizing it is none of their business.