So you know exactly where to get a good doctor excuse template for writing yourself an excuse for being out of school for one day. Great! But, now what? How do you fill it out in a way that makes it seem convincing? How do you make it look at as real as possible?
1) Do not make it too perfect.
A good way to get caught is to try to make it absolutely perfect. In fact, insurance companies sometimes refer medical records that look too perfect to their fraud department to check and make sure the records are real. Doctor’s offices are busy places. In many offices, the doctor will only give you fifteen minutes of his time for an exam. So if you want your note to look convincing, do not make it look too perfect.
It should look like someone dashed it off, not like someone obsessed for hours over making it look right. It is okay to spend some time on it, but it should not look like you spent a lot of time on it. It should look like it was written by someone with too much work to do and too little time to do it.
Medical offices are not in the business of producing perfect paperwork. They are in the business of taking care of patients. Their records are not going to be judged like a high school essay on having perfect punctuation and perfect margins. So do not consciously or subconsciously apply your school’s standards of judging your papers to this document. That is the wrong way to do this. Medical records exist to support the process of taking care of patients. The information needs to be useful and readable, but it does not have to be too pretty.
2) Do not ever use white out.
It is illegal to use white out on medical records. No legitimate note should have white out on it. If you make a mistake, either make a mark through it and initial the mistake or start over.
Real medical records keep their mistakes and annotate that it was a mistake. They correct the information, but they do not ever use white out to cover it up. If white out is used in medical records, there is something fishy going on. So you should not use it either you want it to look authentic.
3) Sign it as illegibly as possible.
Doctors have the worst handwriting and a they typically pay a secretary to do a lot of the office work that involves correspondence. The bad handwriting of doctors is practically legendary. So make sure the signature is not readable. Bonus: If they cannot read it, they cannot call the doctor to check up on you.
Try signing it with your non-dominant hand. That means your left hand if you are right handed or your right hand if you are left handed. Try writing it as rapidly as possible. Trying signing it after having a drink or after holding ice cubes in your hand until your fingers are numb. Try getting a friend with bad handwriting to sign it — just make sure it is a friend who can keep a secret.
Get creative. Don’t hurt yourself, but find some way to make a really bad signature.
4) Change the format if you change doctors.
If you read medical records from different offices all over the country, there may be trends or tendencies in various regions and a particular office may have standardized formats, but medical records are not standardized. They can look wildly different from one file to the next.
If you use the same doctor each time or if you are going to say they are all part of the same practice, then use the same formatting. But if you hurt your foot last time and listed a podiatrist and now you are listing some other ailment that a podiatrist would not treat, then do not use the exact same formatting. If they go through your school records and see that you have been to half a dozen different doctors, yet all the forms look exactly alike, they will get suspicious.
So think about things like that. Is this the same doctor you used last time? Is it a different doctor? If necessary, make copies and keep your own set at home. If you are going to do this more than once, make sure you know what you did before.
5) Use a little medical jargon
Like most serious professions, doctors learn specialized words to do their job. These specialized words often have very exacting meanings. It helps make sure that they communicate as clearly as humanly possible in harried situations where a life may hang in the balance. Because they talk and write this way all day, every day, it becomes habit.
So make sure your note is not written in plain English. Write your initial draft in plain English, but then look up standard medical phrases and abbreviations and translate your note into standard medical jargon. That will help make it look like something an actual doctor would write.
A realistic looking doctor excuse template is just a starting point. A lot of the magic happens when you fill it out. Develop some best practices so that the final result is as convincing as possible.